During a destructive stage of life, I stopped blogging, and journalling, and basically threw away and deleted lots of posts, and journals (as you can't tell by my empty blog). Haha. well.. I can't promise I won't do that again, but what I can say, is that it is important to me now that I start sharing how I'm feeling, and expressing my emotions.
Today, I went to a church class, and we were talking about repentance. And about how every time we change in order to do better, no matter how small, we are in essence repenting.. It just really touched me. I realized all these things I was feeling guilty for, and responsible for, weren't things I needed to worry about. They have been resolved to the best of my abilities, and I won't make myself feel bad for them anymore.
It really was an uplifting and freeing experience. That yes, its important to remember things so that we don't repeat them, but its not necessary at all to keep the burdens in our hearts if we've repented.
It falls into a pattern of my life. I'm not one of those people who can simply feel anything. Everything I believe in, and everything I choose to stand for is a decision I have made on a personal level. Believing is a choice, having faith is a choice. Everyone person I choose to have in my life was chosen. And yes, I am very free with friends, or have been in the past, and I always want people to like me and want to be my friend, I am realizing that while its okay to see the best in other people, sometimes those people don't belong in circles close to me because there are red flags in those friendships.
No one's life is easy, and we have to learn to respect that about everyone. We can't judge others based upon their hardships, or the people they are when encountering those hardships. Because those things aren't what defines them.. I believe whole heartedly, that someone is closest to who they truly are when they are acting in ways that reflect our Savior Jesus Christ. It is only then that we can see the great potential that we have in this life.
It doesn't make things easier when friends push us away because we remind them of something they are trying to avoid, and it doesn't make it any less of a struggle to miss people we've lost in our lives, but it gives me hope-- that no matter what happens, sorrow, guilt, missing someone, etc are not permanent feelings. And they will not be carried with us through life... unless we choose them to be.
We can CHOOSE to be happy, to be close to our Heavenly Father, and to live our lives a day at a time.
“Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us... Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”
No comments:
Post a Comment