Welllll

I think there is something wrong with my car. Its bad.. my car shakes super bad, and it gets worse when I drive faster. My mom gave me some money to get it looked at, but I feel really bad taking it. She doesn't have much money to start with. I really need to start working on saving money better. Granted its hard, being a college student--especially a college student in an education internship. I feel like I am spending alot of money on "necessary" supplies. I think that the point is to invest in some good starter classroom stuff.. I won't write my "but" here, as what I was about to say wasn't very positive.

My cohort adviser made this awesome point in class today.. She was talking about being nice, and being nice and showing love to those we may not get along with, and treating them like they are our best friends. She said "Its not that much harder to be nice, and to go the extra mile. Most things that are nice only take a few minutes to do." It really stuck out to me. I am going to strive to diligently take the "extra time" to be nice. I experimented a little with it today and it seemed to work well. Mostly I found that the more open and humble you are with others, the more you can be kind.

Actually I have a really cool observation about my classes.... All of them are going to require me to think critically, and really examine myself in ways that I haven't done before. But most of them coincide with things that I have already made goals to do in my life, but its interesting... I can already foresee the changes that are going to be necessary for me to be successful, its just about working hard to achieve them. I need to bust out of my shell. I need to become more confident in my sense of self, because if I'm not comfortable with that, than I am going to struggle to have the presence that I need to have in a classroom. I think part of it is to learn to be affluent and express what my opinions are in a way that is non-threatening.

That's the part that I struggle with.. I really struggle with expressing opinion in group settings, and with people who I don't trust. I'm getting better though, I actually have tried speaking up during class, and its working.. kinda. Lol. Its going to take practice but I think I'll get the hang of not being afraid to speak up and say what I think.

I AM SO TIRED, and my internship has just begun. This semester is going to be killer... but I'm excited. I love my cohort so far, and I am so glad to be in the cohort I'm in. My advisor is such a wise woman. Practical, No-nonsense, but fair, and kind. She is reasonable, and doesn't waste our time. We all are placed individually in classrooms, unlike most cohorts, which helps us to grow more independently and in a different way than our peers. I am excited to grow and change this semester. I am so blessed to have the opportunities I do. <3 God is so awesome. :)

So yesterday, I caught myself laughing at someone. Its horrible, I know. I feel extremely guilty right now. haha. (Its not the reason I'm up at 5am--thats because I went to sleep extra early at like 9pm). But I just wonder how that person felt, and I know how she felt, humiliated. But yeah.. what to do, what to do. I'll text her a little later...

Today, I am adventuring to the SS Administration. I'm not really excited, it means HOURS of waiting. :( hopefully, i will find a printer before I head over there... is Kinkos open this early? I wonder if my aunt can take me to her work to print something.. I'll ask her (side note: EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE IS AWAKE--and its before 6am...).

Looks like I'm going into work with her to print the application. I've gotta shower and stuff.

-Beth

I've been thinking alot lately of my soon-to-be internship, the beginning of my Professional Development Sequence, and the beginning of the end of my time at the University of Texas.

It seems strange that in three semesters I will be graduating, hopefully Cume Laude.. I remember being a freshman and feeling really lost in the 40,000+ students and sticking close by my best friends at the time. I've had my fair share of challenges, but I am really grateful that I can say that I am a better person because of my time at UT so far.

This whole transition period between college and professionalism will be an adventure, that's for sure. I'm really nervous to start my PDS, what if my CT hates me? What if I really fail at what I have put my whole heart into? I am not really a shy person, but I really struggle to be vocal around new people and in situations that I am not familiar with. I hope this semester will be a turning point and I will be able to be successful in my student observations and student teaching. That is my prayer, and I know that I am not in this alone. I have my mom, and my siblings, my friends, my facilitator, my coordinating teacher, my cohort advisor, and most of all my Savior to help me to grow and change.

My goals for the year sort of all fall into the same categories. To be diligent, forgive, and take the opportunities that are presented to me. I'm excited to grow closer to my Heavenly Father, and to immerse myself in my PDS. :)